We're Going on a Trip
by vonniebeth
Summary: What happens when Dan and Diana take their kids on a trip? CHAOS! Set when Gabe and Natalie are younger, minus except ch. 3, and Gabe is ALIVE!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. So this idea I got in May when I went to my friend's acting final. When I left, I seriously started writing this in my head. Now it's here. I hope you like it. Review please**

"Come on, kids, on the double!" Dan yelled. "If we don't leave right now, we'll never make it!"

"We're coming!" Gabe called. "You can just thank Natalie for this! She's the one who wanted to bring all of her Barbies."

"Nat, is this really necessary?"

"I don't wanna be bored while on the trip!" Natalie pointed out.

"Whatever. Just get in the car. Now where is your mother?"

"She hadda go to the bathroom."

"DIANA!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Diana said as she ran out of the house. "Goodness, I thought you'd rather we all go to the bathroom now instead of when we're on the road."

"Whatever. Let's just go already."

"Okay."

2 minutes later, Gabe frowned. "Mom, I'm bored!" he announced as he hit his head against the back of his seat.

"Let's listen to music. What's on the radio?" Diana turned the radio on and 'Tik Tok' started to play. "Okay, never mind. I hate this song."

"No, keep it on! I like it!"

"It's not an appropriate song for a kid your age. Um, play Barbies with Nat."

"Okay. Natalie, can I have some of your Barbies?"

"No!" Natalie shouted.

"Please?"

"No! You're a boy! Boys don't play with Barbies unless they're GAY!"

"NATALIE!" Dan shouted in a sharp tone.

"Fine. Here." Natalie sadly gave Gabe a few of her Barbies.

"Thank you," Gabe muttered. He took one of them and said in a girlish tone, "Jiminy, it's the Statue of Natalie. Let's take pictures."

"That's NOT how you play Barbies!"

"Well, it is now! Kill the statue!" Gabe hit Natalie with one of the Barbies and laughed evilly.

"MOM! He hurted Mari-Kari! Make him apologize!"

Diana turned to face Gabe and Natalie. "You 2 REALLY need to calm down. Now, Natalie, who's Mari-Kari?"

"My Barbie!"

"Okay. What did he do to her?"

"Hit her against my arm!"

"Gabe, why did you do that?"

"Cuz…" Gabe said coolly.

"Okay. How about the 2 of you stay quiet for awhile."

"Yes, Mom!" Gabe and Natalie said in unison looking slightly guilty.

"Glad that's over."

"Yeah," Dan agreed. "Peace and…"

"Dad?" Natalie asked. "Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we almost there?"

"No."

"Are we halfway there?"

"No!"

"Are we almost halfway there?"

"NO! Natalie, we'll be there in 17 hours."

"17 hours? But I'm hungry and I have to go potty."

"Didn't you go before you left?"

"I didn't have to go then. But I have to go now."

"Great. Gabe, do you have to go?"

"No," Gabe replied. "I was smart and went potty before we left." Gabe stuck his tongue out at Natalie.

"Well, we'll pullover here. Come on, Nat."

Natalie blushed. "I don't have to go anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, I had an accident."

"Sweet jeez-us!" Dan put his face in his palms and swore.

"Dan," Diana said. "Natalie's a little girl. Little girls have accidents. It's okay."

"Yeah, well, now she has to change and…"

"It'll be fine. You wait here with Gabe. I'll help Natalie."

Dan looked at Gabe. "While we're here, are you absolutely, positively SURE you don't have to go to the bathroom? We can't make anymore stops, so if you have to go, go now or forever hold your pee."

"I'm fine," Gabe said. "I'm just extremely hungry."

Dan looked at his watch. "6:30 am? It's still early."

"But I'm hungry. You rushed us out of the house without breakfast. I need to eat, Dad."

"We're back!" Diana called. "Who else but me is hungry?"

"Me!" Gabe and Natalie shouted.

Dan hit his head against the driver's wheel. "This is the trip that never ends!" he yelled. "We're never gonna get there cuz Natalie has an accident and all of you are hungry and there's no gas in the tank… WHAT? Di, you said you put gas in the tank."

"I did. In the fish tank."

"WHAT? Great, a dead car, dead fish, dead hungry, dead accidents… we're never going to go on another trip again. I swear to goodness!"

**I'm thinking of writing a story of another trip at their present age. Tell me what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay. I really didn't want to make this a 2nd chapter, but after (anonymous) put a Story Alert on this, I had to. So, Gabe and Natalie are still young, Gabe is still alive and this is a story about going on a trip during Christmastime**

"I can't believe we're going on another trip!" Dan groaned.

"Aw, cheer up," Diana said. "Everyone has to get together for Christmas when they all live in different states, unless, of course, all their family lives in the same state."

"You mean like the author?"

"Shh! Don't put the author into this. She's always listening to us. KIDS, COME ON!"

"We're coming!" Natalie and Gabe chorused.

"Now, before we go, and to make your dad happy, did you all go to the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Did you bring something to entertain yourself?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then we can go."

"Yay!"

They all got into the car and things ran smoothly for an estimated 30 minutes, when Gabe's toy robot died. Diana knew that he was gonna start a storm so she just smiled and said, "Let's play a game."

"What sort of game?" Gabe asked.

"Um, find a license plate from Ohio."

"All of these cars have Ohio license plates. We live in Ohio."

"Right, we do. You win!"

"That was too easy, Mom. I bet even Natty could've figured that out."

Natalie gave Gabe a death stare. "Mom, Gabey is being mean. And don't call me Natty! You know I don't like being called that."

"Don't call me Gabey!"

"You started it!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Enough!" Dan shouted, cutting through the fight. "Any more out of your mouths and there'll be torture."

"Sorry," Gabe and Natalie said.

"So, now that I have my point across…"

"I'm bored!" Gabe announced.

"Why do I even bother?"

"Cuz you love driving the car to a place far away?"

"No. I hate doing that."

"Let's turn on the radio," Diana suggested. "Maybe it'll cheer us up." Diana turned on the radio and, instead of hearing music, they heard the emergency alarm and a recording that said, "There is a severe snow storm warning for all parts of Ohio that will expire at further notice. Tune to 1710 AM for more details on this storm now."

"Shoot…" Dan yelled as he changed to the station. "Why must there be a storm now?"

"Warning," the person on the radio said. "The National Doppler Radar has found a severe snow storm that will affect all 88 counties of Ohio that will expire at further notice. This storm may produce hard, crystal-like snow and could produce fireballs. The National Weather Service is naming this storm as a snowy fiery storm. This dangerous storm could be fatal if outdoors. It is recommended that Ohioans stay indoors and off the roads until the storm is passed…"

"No. No! NO!" Dan drove off the freeway, parked in a random parking lot and unloaded the kids while Diana ran inside the place they were parked at. "Thanks a lot, Di." Dan took them inside and said with certainty, "We are NEVER going on another trip again. Christmas or not."


	3. Chapter 3

**a 3rd chapter, set 10 years later. I wasn't gonna do it, but I did. I only did it cuz Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go is stuck in my head and it made me want to write another chapter. Please note that I did not incorporate the song into the story. That would've been copying the acting final, which is copyrighted and bad. I'm not a bad person. I'm done now. Wait, this chapter is rated T. Dan and Gabe get pretty awful when it comes to choice of wording**

"Not again!" Dan moaned. "Diana, why do you keep convincing me to take our kids on a trip?"

"It'll be a fun trip!" Diana said optimistically.

"No it won't. Gabe is 16, Natalie is 15. What makes you think they want to go on a trip to see the Sesame Street characters?"

"Nobody is too old for Sesame Street."

"MOM!" Gabe and Natalie yelled.

"What?"

"I don't want to go."

"Why not?"  
"Cuz," Gabe said coolly. "We're teenagers and we'll look like idiots among the little kids."

"No you won't. Come on. I'm going too."

"You're a mother! They expect that! We don't have a little sibling that's young enough for this."

"You're both going. That's final."

"Fuck!"

"Gabe!"

"What? Again, too old for this."

"At least Henry's coming along." Natalie sighed.

"What? Mom, why does Natalie get to bring a friend? Why can't I?"

"First come, first served, big bro. SHOTGUN!"

"Not if I get there first!"

"I called it first!"

"Still think this is a good idea, Di?" Dan asked as Gabe and Natalie fought about who would sit shotgun.

"Of course!" Diana replied. "They're just excited to go."

"I sure hope you're right."

"Of course I am. As they always say, mother knows best."

(an hour later)

"I'm bored!" Gabe announced.

"Ditto," Henry and Natalie said.

"Are we there yet?"

"Nope," Dan sighed. "I only wish we were."

"Why do we go on these trips?"

"Welcome to my world."

"I wish something entertaining would happen."

"Me too," Natalie and Henry agreed.

They spoke too soon. Just as he said that, a truck crashed into them, hard. "Jeez-us, FUCK!" Dan yelled.

"Calm down," Diana said.

"Calm down? _Calm down_? What the hell? We were just hit by a truck and now the engine is dead, and you want me to CALM DOWN?"

"Dan, don't swear in front of the kids."

"They're not kids, Diana. They're practically adults. They swear themselves! Stop treating them like they're babies."

"It's hard to watch them grow up."

"But it's reality. Get with the program! And I swear to fucking goodness, if we EVER go on another trip, I WILL KILL SOMEONE!"


End file.
